Go home and love your family

If you had asked me ten years ago where I saw myself today, I probably would have looked a little sheepish and shrugged my shoulders. The truth is that whilst we all have some idea of how we imagine our lives playing out, (whether defined by a family or career path- or both!), it's not often that you imagine the specifics, at least it wasn't that way for me.

I always imagined myself as a mum but I never envisioned what the 'finish line' of our complete family would look like. I suppose I've always been the 'never say never' type and this along with my faith, has been such a liberating and hugely positive point of unity between Eddy and I.

Being a mum is eye-opening and the comparison between my single life and parenthood is just hilarious at times. Gone are the days of getting home in the evenings, pottering about faffing and lighting candles or leisurely preparing meals. It's all systems go from the moment the car pulls in the driveway these days. Door open, get the kids inside. Did we leave anything/one in the car? (double check) Coats off. Shoes off. Noise, noise, NOISE! Oven on. Baby's crying. Noah needs the toilet right at the very moment Jonah makes it his mission to reach that one biscuit dangling some way above his reach on the counter tops...no! He fell... More crying! Great.

It's chaotic at times most of the time. Loud. Unapologetic. And my goodness I can find myself at my witts end all too easily. (I can see I am really selling parenthood to you now!)

But here's the thing. My 'job' as a mum is to be a forward thinker. It's to look beyond the here and now; the sticky little fingers that have climbed into my bed, the 7494729th bickering match about who's turn it is to choose a dvd and the never-ending conveyor belt of luke-warm coffees that didn't stand a chance of being enjoyed hot. The here and now is hard at times but my attention as a mother is focused on the future. 

I am directly responsible and accountable for the type of boys I raise into men. My husband and I are laying the foundations right now. We're only just getting started on this build and it's critical that we focus our attention on getting these foundations just right because we know ourselves it's a fierce world our sons are going to have to stand tall in. We want them to have strong work ethics, to have compassion and a desire to reach out to the less fortunate, to treat women with the same respect they've seen their father treat me with, to walk humbly and above all to know of God's great love for them.

When I think of the task ahead it sometimes sends shivers down my spine because of the gravity of it all. Mother Teresa once said, "If you want to change the world- go home and love your family." Words that inspire me every single day because in my own small way, I know I am helping to shape the next generation and that is both a privilege and a task that seems too large at times to comprehend.

But I'm thankful for the oppertunity to do something beautiful with my life. I do sometimes need reminding and my husband is wonderful at getting through to me when I'm  floundering under the weight of the here and now. Sometimes all it takes is a quiet (hot) cup of tea and five minutes to myself to refocus and begin anew.

 But what's that saying, 'nothing worth having comes easy'? - I'll certainly drink to that!

Love,