This morning I finally joined the 'school gate' club when we dropped Noah off for his first day at school. Call it pathetic fallacy if you will, but it when I got out of bed this morning I was greeted by *the* dullest autmnal morning and the gloomy start has still not shaken itself off even now!
Of couse, Noah was beyond excited to help me prepare his packed lunch and check he had everything he needed in tow and he piled into the car with his bags and coat, ready for our first official school run- ever!
I'm so grateful to know he is really ready for this. There wasn't a moment's hesitation on his part as he sped through the school gates to greet his new teacher and play with his classmates and, as I hung back for a moment to make sure all was well, his lovely teacher paused to see if I was okay.
"Oh yes, I'm fine thanks" I responded without thought and really, I was! It's just that this is such a huge change, isn't it? And it really hit me!
For the past four years Noah has been in my care 24/7 and now I find myself handing him over to make the next step and I suppose this is just another one of those reminders in life of my parental responsibility to let go and to let him grow.
I was so impressed and reassured by Noah's teacher and her effort to reach out to me (As if she didn't already had her hands totally full on the first day of term!?) But to be greeted with such thoughtfulness encouraged me in that moment and reminded me that Noah really is joining a wonderful school community where he will thrive. He is SO ready for this!
As parents though, I don't think we are ever ready to 'let go', are we? I was musing about this on the journey home and I felt my heart twinging just knowing that this will be the 'new normal' for a lot of years to come. It's change and I feel a bit silly but I'm gonna miss my little Noey more than he knows.
I didn't really connect in the past that letting go of our children for their best interests could challenge us as parents, or even cause us to shed a wee tear along the way. But that's love, isn't it? And ultimately, it's a privilidge.
So there we have it. My biggest little man has started school and I am learning to let go. There are lessons for all of us!
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