Yesterday something quite remarkable happened. I ended up enjoying the day completely to myself as Eddy and Noah had taken a road trip to meet some of his family for lunch. As I had a midwife appointment, I couldn't go with the boys, but the break it provided was, admittedly blissful.
Sometimes I feel a bit of pressure to look like a 'supermum' who never flags or fails or has a bad day. Why do we mums put so much pressure on ourselves? Normally, I have to admit my ability to power on through surprises even myself. However, as the weeks have passed and I have now hit the 9 month pregnancy stage, I am finding it harder and harder to get from one end of the day to the other. My energy levels are so different to what they were just last month and after taking this pregnancy in my stride all the way through...I must confess I am definitely feeling it now!
Anyhow, yesterday I had the rare opportunity of a day to myself where I simply attended my antenatal appointment and popped into town to do some baby related shopping. It was a much needed few hours that I so appreciate my husband making possible for me. I honestly felt like my brain was having a 'chill out' too as I wasn't clock watching, planning lunch for a toddler, or having to do anything other than please myself.
Do you know what was ironic though? As much as I physically needed the break that yesterday provided, after I said goodbye to my boys, I suddenly felt a bit lost as if my whole world and purpose had left the room and it took me a little while to decide exactly what to do now that I didn't HAVE to do anything.
Yes, I am a massive over thinker! And being away from my baby is something I still struggle with. I can count on one hand the amount of days I have had away from Noah and I guess I'm just not used to it at all. But I recognise that sometimes to be the best mum and to be the best wife, you have to have time to yourself now and again to re-connect with your identity as you, a person first and foremost, and then your vocation as mother, wife...
So, I'm really thankful for yesterday, partly because I honestly really needed it and I'm not ashamed to admit to it. And also because I know it will be a little while before this mama gets a day off again. But those few hours alone really refreshed me and after the boys got home yesterday evening, we ended up having such a lovely family night together. Bliss!
I hope you are all enjoying your evening...nearly the weekend now!
Love Bunty
xXx
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